The Letter

Because you see I love you.

I love you.

Do you know what that means?

I’ll let go of my happiness if it means, you’ll be happy and if you’re sad, I’ll give all my happiness, empty it all just for you and yes that sounds so stupid, i know, that sounds like someone who’s stupidly in love, blind and just plain stupid. And letting my happiness go for a guy who I met when I was 18 instead of giving my happiness away for my mother or my father, or my sister or my brother. Or my best friend or my inner child, so tell me why is that so? Am I really blinded by this feeling?

It’s Love and it’s supposed to be pure and euphoric and good but I am feeling so, so, undeniably sad.

I know I am blinded but everything is so crystal clear. I know I am blinded but I know how you make me feel and I know how I make you feel. I know I am blinded but I know what will happen of us in the future, so tell me, am I really blinded?

People say you’re not in love unless the person you loved, loves you back, does this means I am not in love? Then what is this? What am I feeling? What’s the name of this feeling?

Is my love not enough or is it too much? Why can’t you seem to fall for me, as hard as I did for you? What did I do wrong? Am I really too much? Am i too desperate that it’s stupid?What happened? Do you not remember the first time, of us?

But if happy is me being gone from your life, I pray every single second that God forced me out from your life. If you’re too scared to say it and if you’re too afraid to let me go, don’t worry baby, I got you. I’ll help you. God is powerful, He can pull me out from your life.  He’ll help us, I know He will. If you’re better off without me, and if I am not the one for you, then I’ll pray every day, that I’ll be out of your life.

But I am so, so thankful. Knowing you and loving you these past times… I know I have yet to see your Soul, not even a glimpse of that rare gem.

But a Soul is a special thing meant to be kept for a Special Person. I understand why you kept it away from me.

I am glad to have you love me, in your own way, and I am glad to be able to fill in for Her. While you waited for Her.

I will always love you and I mean that. You’re in my every prayer and I hope your day is filled with overwhelming happiness everyday but sayang, this is life right? We all will faced drowning days and killing feels… but I hope you know that you are surrounded by people who loves you, so much. You’re so strong but you’re only human. Everyone needs someone. I hope you find that someone and learn to trust Her fast and I wish you and Her, everlasting happiness.

You’re so special.

You’re made of magic and anything you touch, becomes magic.

I hope you never forget that.

So goodbye love.

I’ll miss you.

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